Motivated. Empowered. Confident. This is how this brave and proud woman conditions herself to become every day.
Being a frontliner is a tough job and it is now much harder being one amid a pandemic. With long hours of hospital duty tightly squeezed in a day, being a medical frontliner becomes much more draining. This is what Cara Nam experiences every time when she was a nursing assistant.
“Going to work every day and knowing that people around me are also tired and exhausted makes me feel weak as well,” she said. “But with determination and wanting to be able to help patients and make a change, going to work makes me feel motivated.
Serving the people is what pushes her to strive more in her field albeit she believes that the government is giving them far less than what they deserve.
“I made a promise to myself that I will always do my best to serve well and give the care the Filipino people need,” Cara said.
For her, it was the sense of fulfillment that is worth treasuring every day.
But there’s more to why she keeps going stronger each day.
“No one’s gonna love you,” her father said.
Coming from a very conservative family, Cara had a hard time showing her true self. Her tough relationship with her father put her straight in dire straits. Being bullied and other people finding it hard to give her even a single ounce of respect were only a few reasons that put her in a vicious cycle of trying hard to find herself.
“My childhood was great but it has a lot of sad memories…But it wasn’t always hard. It was also good.”
Although life always puts her in hot, deep water, Cara was able to see a small ray of goodness in every situation she has been through.
Meeting real people who chose to stay by her side was the consolation life gave her.
For 22 years Cara lived as a gay man. But every time she lingers in front of the mirror, there’s something she wants to change - she wants to be the person she aspires to be.
“I’m content but not happy,” Cara sighed. “I wake up every single day asking myself if I am enough or am I just gonna live like this forever.” She can’t help but get emotional.
It was not until she saw a transwoman in a parade, rocking the streets and living her best life, that she decided to live her truth.
She doesn't want to have gray hair without doing what she loves. So she started wearing wigs and hair extensions. Now, looking in the mirror was far more fulfilling.
Coming out as a transgender woman was a bold step she took. Although she is armed by her confidence which took her years to build, confidence her trans sisters helped to bolster, she still has fears to face. Men fetishizing trans women are what scares her the most.
But then she aggressively said, with courage overpowering her voice, "Once you cross me, I’m going to end you.”
Cara affirmed that people must be held accountable for all discriminatory and degrading things they did but it is also important to not cancel them.
Although she sometimes gets offended by unsolicited comments from men, she always faces them with kindness, calls them out, and educates them.
Aside from spending hours reading medical books and binge-watching on Netflix, taking selfies consumes her time the most too. But when she posts her selfies, her trans sisters hyping her up always makes her heart flutter.
It became her goal to inspire even a single trans woman or man by showing them she stood up for herself and she’s now living the life she wants and dreamt of for years. She learned so much in life that she started ignoring and accepting her flaws.
Her only encouragement for the people struggling to find cheer and comfort is that if you ever feel tired, get some rest. If you feel sad, feel your emotions because all of it is valid. Rest but always find a way to continue and you’ll be surprised, you're there soon. And lastly, always be a little kinder, especially in these times when looking after others is a hard thing to do.
As we celebrate Pride Month, let’s try to embrace all members of our community, celebrate freedom, and show kindness to everyone.
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